In my last post I seriously said that it wasn’t the end of the blog. I didn’t want it to be. I wanted to post more.
But that didn’t happen.
I used to be a ten year old with an enormous love for dolls, and I was silly and weird and obsessed.
Sometimes I look back on that phase and go “I was so weird.” “Why did I spend so much money?” “Why couldn’t I have been normal?” “Why did I DO that?”
But ultimately I cannot change the past, so I have to make peace with it.
Yes, it was a little strange. But I learned a lot. I grew a lot.
I made so many things for my dolls. I made toys, and clothes, and like five separate dollhouses. They didn’t usually look great, but I learned most of the skills I have now. (Which comes in handy, running my craft club.) I learned how to repurpose things, and how to make things at a low cost.
I had the opportunity to talk to other people close to my age who loved the same things, other people who were older but not ashamed of their love of dolls. I had so many great conversations.
I don’t think I ever had more than like 114 followers, which really isn’t a lot in the blogging world, but for a young girl like me, I had more than a hundred people following me, reading what I wrote, and most of them didn’t even know me! I found that so cool. I still do.
I always believed it would never be just a phase. I would never grow out of dolls. I would love them forever, play with them forever.
I will always have a love for dolls. I still look up the new girl of the year, and I still notice dolls at thrift stores, or when girls in public have dolls. I still talk about dolls when the subject comes up, and I connect with people who also loved dolls.
But I have, ultimately, grown out of that phase. I’m a teenager now. I wear makeup and obsess about my clothes. I go out with my friends and spend way too much time on TikTok.
I’ve deconstructed my dollhouses, and most of the stuff is put away. I’ve given away most of my dolls to people who actually play with them. All that’s left is some things in my closet, and my six American Girl dolls on a shelf in my room.
But I still make things. I still write. I just do it in different ways.
Every week nine kids come to my house for a craft club that I run. We let them use the supplies and build their skills, while making what they want. I still can’t believe that I get paid (admittedly not much) for something that I love doing so much.
I write in my journals, I write for school, and my friends and I do a writing club. I wish I had more time so that I could write in other ways too, but I just don’t.
Since I rarely post anymore my parents want to stop paying for the domain. we are going to make a scrapbook so nothing goes away entirely, but most of the pictures will probably get taken down. The blog will stay up however.
I won’t promise to post any more. I’d like to post on Creative Castle sometimes, but that probably won’t happen.
But I won’t forget. I’ll remember this phase of my life, making things, and spending way too much money, and talking to you all, and all the fun I had.
Thanks for the memories.